Easter Rambling

Yesterday was nothing special, and yet, I have had some very deep feelings. I just love my life. That's all. Friday night we had Adam sleep over because Tim and Tiffany went on an overnighter, and with one extra child in the house, it just made things so much easier. Everyone plays so nicely when there's a cousin around, and I get to sit back and just soak in the giggles and laughter, running, playing, singing, and overall "joy" around me. John and I nestled in and watched a movie together while the kids bounced around our bedroom upstairs (supposedly "watching" a movie, yet playing "king of the bed" at the same time...)
I think I'm just grateful for contentment. It's funny, because when I look at some of the particulars that happened that night, it truly was a bit hectic...for example: we tried to rent a movie for the kids, and after reserving online, found it wasn't available when we got there. We tried three different pizza places to get dinner, and after about 40 minutes of driving, John finally arrived home. We also at one point had a heart-stopping "we can't find Timothy anywhere" moment that ended in discovery inside the car in the garage, in a carseat. I guess it really was in some respects a crazy night.
And yet, somehow, my feelings are still that of happiness and contentment. I'm grateful for that, because I truly think it is a gift that I didn't have anything to do with.
I'm also grateful for Easter. For our pagan responsibility, on Saturday we boiled and dyed 2 dozen real eggs, and filled about 30 plastic ones, and because we were having so much fun, had 3 different egg hunts! When I hid them, they were all mostly in plain sight, but after the kids hid them, we had some M.I.A. eggs! (missing in action.) Oh well, a few extra chocolates that won't be missed by MY hips!
Sorry for the following. I didn't get much sleep last night, and this one was so funny to me!

Now on to something more serious.
This morning we awoke and watched "Lamb of God" with the children and had a relaxing morning (church isn't until 1:00 p.m.)...eating, of course, hard-boiled eggs. We read through the scriptural account of the resurrection and looked at pictures. I was a little surprised at how much my children knew of the details of the Savior's last week. I was grateful to hear that much of what they knew had been studied at school. What a blessing! And yet, as I listened to their "book knowledge" I found myself hoping that someday (if not partly already) it would become solidified in their hearts and minds a true and abiding understanding of not only the Savior's mission, but of thier own, individually. What a great responsibility we all have to strive to become like the only perfect man to walk the earth. And yet, who else could we feel comfortable patterning our lives after?

As my life enters different phases, I find my feelings about life also enter different phases. In the past, and perhaps in my less-mature years I've focused on what my neighbors were doing and how I could be more like them. You know, that sort-of "I wish I were more like her" phase. Sometimes I'm solely focused on what I have to do for myself just to be a little better. But in this phase, I'm so much more focused on what I CAN'T do. No matter what, in the end, it is all up to the Savior if I am to truly be perfected. I can't do it alone.
Truthfully, I think this train of thought came from a song I heard for the first time last week. Our friend, Kenneth Cope wrote a beautiful song on his new CD titled "All about You." All of the songs are written "to" the Savior. The majority of songs has a more secular beat, like "Jars of Clay," but one in particulare is reverent and amazing. It's #7 on the CD...I'm guessing the title is called "Alone." I just HAVE to share the lyrics of the chorus, knowing without the beautiful orchestrations it will miss the mark.

How could I think that I could merit
or speak of my share in it
this saving work He's wrought alone
I've been a fool to believe I'd earn it
Or suppose I could deserve it
With works and deeds I call my own
From this day on,
I know I'm saved by Him alone.

I KNOW through my study that we are required to do works of ourselves, such as baptism and endowment, and yet, without Christ and his atonement, it would be worthless. There would BE none of that without Him. It literally boggles my mind to think of the supreme gift He has given to all of us if we only receive. Amazing.
And what in return? I spent more time shopping and dyeing and hunting easter eggs than I spent on the scriptures. (well, maybe.) But even still, it seems we are asked to do so little in return for so much. We are truly blessed.

It's been a good weekend so far. And with the kids out of school for another week, I'm looking for more fun, more teaching, more laughing, more bonding, and especially, more learning. I've got so far to go.
Happy Easter!